What to Do when Someone Accuses You of Lying?

Being accused of lying can have as much impact as a physical blow to the body, especially when the accusation is false. Although your first inclination after the accusation may be to be aggressive in defending your good name, being assertive instead is a better approach. Similarly, avoiding confrontation with the individual who accuses you of lying can leave you feeling frustrated, particularly because the underlying inaccuracy remains active. Not saying anything and hoping the accusation will simply go away usually has the opposite effect and can lead to additional accusations.

Step 1
Evaluate the accusation with an objective eye. Don’t assume the reasons why the other person is accusing you of being a liar, but consider the possibilities. Consider if the other person is feeling slighted by you, by something you’ve said or your role at work or in the family. Ask other people who know you and the person making the accusations about their perspectives on the accusation. You may not recognize something you’ve said or done that may have led to the accusation. This allows you to see a perspective that is less wrought with defensiveness.

Step 2
Confront your accuser with an assertive stance. Assertiveness, in contrast to aggressiveness, is a means of defending your point of view without trespassing on the perspective of another person. It’s a way of agreeing to disagree and levels the playing field to facilitate better communication. One of the primary ways to be more assertive is to preface your statements to your accuser with the pronoun “I.” Instead of saying, “You’re accusing me of lying,” an assertive statement would sound more like, “I don’t agree with your accusation that I am a liar.” Assertiveness places you in a position for negotiation and better understanding and is less likely to place your accuser in a defensive position.

Step 3
Ask questions of your accuser to identify the reasons why he believes you are a liar. Open-ended questions such as, “How did you come to the conclusion that I lied?” can give you a better idea of how your accuser came up with his belief. Accurate or not, it’s unlikely that a simple statement of disagreement will convince your accuser that you aren’t a liar. Asking questions to get the underlying story, however, will give you information that you can clarify to your accuser to make your case against the accusation. As difficult as it may seem when defending a false accusation, it’s important to remain diplomatic in discussing the issue.

Step 4
Identify to your accuser what resolution or consequence you would like administered as a result of the accusation. You may never be able to convince the other person that you are not a liar, however, you do have the right to assert your point of view and request a negotiation of perspectives. For example, state, “I would appreciate it if you would ask me first, before accusing me of lying about making that phone call you requested.” This provides the recipient with a consequence for his accusations.

5 Replies to “What to Do when Someone Accuses You of Lying?”

  1. Hi Don! I know something still going on, are the past still trying to put you down. We know you and we know you are loyal hardworking person but like what you always said life is unfair get use to it. There is no easy way to success always someone will put you down especially when they realize that you are so important to them but they let you go. Afraid of there wrong doing they doing there best to ruin you. You did the right thing … nothing wrong on telling the truth you are honest person and they are not that is the reason why they so eager to ruin your life.

    I love your motivation advice that is correct should follow that. I cant believe that you are so quick on thinking how to fight and stand straight even they re doing there best to shame you.

    Take Care

    1. Thank you! but its painful…providing a right things to do but they dont listen and now that they re fuck up. They started to blame you and accuses you of lying damaging properties etc… That is crazy.

      Anyway, though I dont believe on justice ‘coz its not here in this world but who knows sometimes they get what they deserve. I dont need to prove my self to anybody as long as I know to my self that I care and I love everything around me.

  2. Indeed… just love what you are in now. The past is the past but all we know that its there we cant change it, but still we can able to change the future.

    Work smart…and love your job, prove them that they are wrong ✊🏻💋🧠

  3. Hi Don! they re paranoid… They know you can able to do something massive, but we believe you will not gonna do it.

    You are the part of the good programmer and as a professional you know where to use your f1 car.

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